I met a guy 4 months ago on a dating site match.com. We have met and gone on a few dates. He seems nice and has never made me feel nervours until this weekend when he told me he was once questioned in a murder investigation ( he has a scar and I had asked about it) his story is that he got stabbed by a guy in a pub who accused him of eyeing his girlfriend. he then took a taxi home and the taxi driver noticed he was bleeding. the same night a girl was murdered. the taxi driver reported the fact that he had been bleeding to the police which is how he was questioned. I am really freaked out about this. Is there a way of me independently veryfying this story...should I even be doing this or should I just end this..I was beggining to like him but I really dont want to be stupid..
Internet dating please urgent help needed?
You should be able to tell if he is someone who is capable of committing a crime, although your gut feelings are not necessarily always accurate. Some other things I can suggest is to talk to his friends and family indirectly and to find out what their thoughts are. You may find out many things from friends and family.
Reply:run! run for the hills or sumfin! true or not theres no way id go with sum1 when ive got suspiscions of them as severe as that. run! run!
Reply:I dont think there is any way for you to verify his story.Unless you know a policeman,but even then it is illegal to use that for private reasons.I ,like others ,dont think he is/was the murderer,but he may be a guy who gets into trouble easily(for future reference,say when you out together...).Internet dating,it can work for very few.We all know someone who has met someone and they lived happily ever after.The thing to remember is percentages here.The total number of dating sites,and the total number of active members.Huge numbers indeed,So the ones who met and lived happily ever after a tiny tiny percentage.If you were starting to like him,I would say continue to do so,just play safe,like let someone know when you meeting him and where you going and what time you expect to be returning.basic rules for your safety really.The problem I see here is that you want to verify his story,which means your trust towards him has taken a knock.And we all know without trust very few relationships survive!I used to be a very active member of the online dating.At times I had memberships running on 10-15 different sites.Chatting to all was a very drawn out act,remembering names and such.Then I gave it all up as I realised what it is all about.Lies in appearance,personality,character,and so on.Now I prefer to do my dating in ''real time'' ,like the supermarket or the pub or wherever I happen to be in the mood.The luck of trust is a relationship killer,and this is all I see here.I am not the one to say date him or not.That is down to you.If you continue,just play safe and see what happens.Mean while ask,talk and chat,with him to find out as much as you can about things you dont know about this person.Best of luck,P.
Reply:I'm pretty sure the only reason he was questioned was because the police were doing their jobs and following up all the leads. Since he wasn't arrested, and he has given you no reason to mistrust him in the last 4 months, I see no reason to stop seeing him. Remember, it was HIM who got stabbed, not the one who did the stabbing. For all you know, the guy who stabbed him is the one who murdered the girl.
Reply:Get away from him at once. I am telling you to not be stupid. I was told by a detective one time, that "if you think something is wrong and you have bad feelings. Trust those feelings and get the heck away, your feelings are usually right". Don't stop to worry if his story is true.....RRRUUUNNNN!
Reply:No way, dump him don't take a chance, he could be a RL murderer.
Reply:You have just become a victim of internet dating. This is why they say not to do what you have been doing. You can't trust what people tell you on those sites. You can't be too careful.
Reply:Chances are if he had done it he would not be out walking the streets.....
Reply:i once dated a guy who had been part of a murder investigation. He was open and honest with me and for that i respected him, and we dated for quite a while. If this guy you mentioned had commited the crime then police would have had him on it, forensics would have gone over him with a fine tooth comb. But if you have doubts about him then maybe its just best to walk away. You can try to verify his story but checking out his local newspapers, something like that wont be hard to find.
Reply:What does your gut say?
If you are even asking this question, that means your gut is not okay with this guy and his story. Your gut is usually right and can pull you out of potentially dangerous situations.
This really isn't the kind of situation you want to be unsure about. It's much better if you trust your gut and get out of the relationship while you are still only beginning to like him rather than even further in where you have much more vested into it and have fallen in love. It will be much much harder to leave then if it turns out he is not to be trusted.
This is something you want to be very careful about. Trust yourself.
Good luck to you!!
Reply:Did you tell this guy that you're a little freaked out by this? I would start there since the basis of any relationship is honesty. If there was a court case and/or a police report then it would probably be public record so you would have to find out where all this took place and start there. Good luck and always follow your gut!
Reply:if he was really truly guilty why would he even bring it up to you. dont you think he would just keep it to him self.. especially when he is being accused he could of thought you woulda ratted him out also... but its true he wouldnt be out of jail or quetioning if he murdered a girl.
Reply:Two ways you can look at this,
A. He has told you that he was questioned in a murder case and explained what happened. He need not have done this, he could have been more frugal with the truth and not told you anything.
B. He has a past that does not make you feel very secure. It is better that you make a clean break early, than get involved with someone with baggage.
Unfortunately, this is the type of dilemma you're often faced with when meeting people over the Internet, speed dating etc..
It sounds to me that the guy could just trying to be honest, knowing that you may find out anyway a later date, but If I were in your shoes I would make a clean break, it's better to be careful than get involved in something messy.
Good luck
Reply:First of all, you should buy a public record of this individual from a security agency. There's a lot of them, search them on the internet. In there, it should tell you about criminal history, credit history, and business history if any. You also might want to go to a public police office and ask if you can do some research on an individual that you think is necessary. Tell them about your situation. Ask if this is possible. If it's not, then, it's up to you to whether to continue having a relationship with this person or not based on your feelings or brain.
Reply:wow it's seems really bad.Hey i'm a guy and i will say that sometimes we lie a little just to seem tougher.But that wow. are you saying that you think he did it. I don't think that he killed her if he was .... never mind just watch out.
Reply:use your instincts and stick with them, on the other hand if he had something to hide he wud never have told u about it
Reply:Sounds like he"s got some things he's hiding from u.Be careful when meeting people off the Internet even if they are on a reputable website for singles.U can meet weirdos anywhere.I wouldn't go for this guy seems that he might be dangerous.Forget him!
Reply:I think you should take peoples suggestions and do a background check/Google search. you might also want to go to the precinct and ask if the police can tell you anything about him. Don't feel down about these people who are telling you that you shouldn't date on the internet because the fact is, he could have made up any story he wanted to even if you met him in person. this has nothing to do with the internet/how you met him, and everything to do with who he is, so just focus on finding out. if you think he;s a good guy, explain to him why you're worried and ask if he can better explain the story.
Reply:background check but i would just leave him
Reply:OMG ... do a google on his name. Put it inside Quotes, ie "Pete Smith", and also area where you live and see what comes up.
ie "Pete Smith" nottingham
Reply:You can ask the police.I would be nervous also, Just until
I found out the real truth. He probably is telling the truth,
otherwise I do not think he would have gone into details.
You could ask him when this happened, and look it up in
the library newspapers.
Reply:wow. can't help u there, hon, sorry.
Reply:Ask yourself if hes worth it. If he could of killed once don't you think he could do it again. Anything fishy you should just let it go. And if you want to find out about it google it. If nothing shows up...kiss him goodbye...actually e-mail him goodbye
Reply:Relax; he hasn't shown other signs, has he?
If someone stabbed him, what makes him a murderer?
There's absolutely no reason someone could have "accidentally" looked at someone's girlfriend, then "coincidentially" kill a girl who looked "coincidentially" similar to the woman he had "accidentally" looked at in a pub.
Be realistic, and don't worry, :)
Reply:Alarm bells should be ringing there Toots
Reply:Sounds very dodgy, but what you need to know is did anyone get convicted for this girls murder or is the case still open. Be careful, maybe best to move on as you dont need complications in life, do you?
Reply:omg ,nooo!i thought match .com was a good site!
Reply:haha, he has a scar and pulled a bogus story on you, i do it all the time, its a good change of pace, try joking to him saying you only want his wallet, even tho its not a lie
Reply:I think it depends on if you think he is being truthful. He was honest enough to admit he was questioned, and his answer seems valid. After dating for a few months, I think you should know him good enough to make a good judgement.
Reply:I dont think your ever going to know the definite truth. But personally, I think if the police looked itno it then its ok, and, he didint have to tell you that. you probly never would have found out. But anyone seeing someone on the internet should be careful anyways. I agree with the other poster too, about going with ur gut. Good Luck!!! hopefully in 10 years you 2 will be laughing about this!!
Reply:if your only beginning to like him then you can still get out of it, i dont know how you could find out the truth but better safe then sorry...
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